BYU Jokes
 
A BYU fan behind me while I am standing the entire game, taps me on the shoulder and says you're blocking my vision....
I told him....sorry I didn't know you were having a vision

What is the difference between Big foot and a BYU CO-Ed?
One is big hairy and stinks
The other has big feet.

Q: Why do byu grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: Why do they leave a sack of manure on byu's sideline?
A: To keep the flies off the cheerleaders.

Q: What do byu and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q: What's the hardest thing about being a byu cougar fan?
A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

Q: What does the Unabomber, Ted Kyzinski, and a BYU Co-Ed have in common?
A: They both got fingered by their brother.

Q: What did the BYU coed do when her boyfriend put on a rated R movie?
A: She put her bra and shirt back on and left in disgust.

Q: What's the difference between a BYU coed and a toilet?
A: A toilet doesn't follow you around after you use it.

Q: What do you get when you cross a BYU Co-Ed with a pig?
A:  Nothing. There are some things even a pig won't do!

 

What's the difference between a BYU coed and an Elephant?
About five pounds.
How do you even them up?
Force feed the elephant.

What's the difference between a BYU coed and a police car?
It takes two police cars to block a road.

Why don't BYU coeds wear black swimsuits?
So they don't get harpooned.

What do you call a BYU coed skydiving?
Total eclipse.

What's the difference between a chicken and a BYU coed?
The chicken says "Cockadoodle Doo" and the coed says "Any dude'll do."

There were three BYU co-eds out for a drive one day, when they happened upon a guy hitch hiking. They pulled over, the guy gets in and the driver asks, " Where you going?", the guy says, "Anywhere, just get moving, I escaped from prison 5 minuets ago!". As they move down the road, one co-ed in the back asks, "Why were you in prison?". The escapee says, " I killed my wife and all her family. " After that statement, it was quiet for a moment, then the last BYU co-ed asks, "So, you're single?"

A Ute, an Aggie and a Cougar were hiking together when they came across an old coke bottle.  When they picked it up a genie popped out in a cloud of smoke.
"For freeing me I shall grant each of you one wish."

The Aggie thought for a moment, then said, "Well, agriculture is important to our state school, so my wish is that Cache valley always have good crops each season."
"It is done." said the Genie.

The Cougar thought for a moment and said, "Well, we in Happy Valley like to be in the world but not of the world, so my wish is that there be an invisible wall around Utah Valley."
"It is done." said the Genie.

"Fill the valley with water." Said the Ute.